Comments on Momopoly: The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Blog

I wandered over from your articulate comment on Ju...

2009-11-25T08:49:53.950-05:00

I wandered over from your articulate comment on Julie's post about mixed marriage. You're just as articulate here, as I expected.

This reminds me of wise counsel I got once: "We all tend to compare our insides with other people's outsides. Don't."

Great post. I can relate to a lot here. And what I...

2009-11-24T21:07:02.492-05:00

Great post. I can relate to a lot here. And what I appreciate is your honesty. I want to be "Real" when I write. God bless.

Oh, great post! I've been blogging for almost a y...

2009-11-24T16:47:24.512-05:00

Oh, great post! I've been blogging for almost a year and have felt all the things you've mentioned. I like the tidbits the commenters have added here. (I got here today from Danielle Bean's shared items.)

Thank you.

Thank you for this. I've heard similar ideas float...

2009-11-24T05:39:20.306-05:00

Thank you for this. I've heard similar ideas floating around lately on blogs and in real life. I think it's just sooo tempting to compare ourselves with others and imagine that their lives are somehow better.

I think one reason my blog might intimidate people into thinking I'm a better parent than I am is that I often want to write about the ideals rather than how I actually practice, with all the failings and not living up to the high standards. I want to inspire rather than always confess and be down, but then there has to be a time when I'm real. This was such a time for you, and I so admire it.

Another thing that has helped me lately, when I'm feeling jealous of someone else's perceived success, whether that's followers on a blog or being asked to audition for a rock band or publishing a novel or whatever, is to say: "Someone else's success does not diminish mine." Someone else's happiness does not mean that mine is depleted by that much. There's more than enough of it all to go around. We have abundant life.

See, I must sound like I always believe that, even though what I'm saying is: I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING MYSELF OF THAT OVER AND OVER! Sorry to shout... :)

Kate- Such a great post and so true. I have fallen...

2009-11-23T22:37:53.201-05:00

Kate- Such a great post and so true. I have fallen into the "grass is greener" when it comes to some homeschooling blogs. But, I had a funny experience today that fits your post beautifully. My husband is off from work all week. So, he was home as school was going on today. For about 5 minutes, all the boys were sitting at the kitchen table doing work. J was working on his phonics and K and A were coloring. My husband walked through and remarked at how cute they were. He ran and got the camera and took a photo. I looked at the photos just a few minutes ago and they were so cute! Those boys looked angelic! Now, what you cannot see are the crayons that my 18 month old threw all over the floor, or breakfast dishes in the sink, sippy cups on the floor, or 1 minute later, A trying to grab J's pencil from him and then screaming because he could not get it! That picture was just a snap shot,a "cheese moment" as Todd Wilson calls them.

I try to stay away from blogging about negative things. Not because I want to appear "perfect" to others, but because I do not want to dwell on my own negativity. By the time I have a chance to sit down and blog, I usually have worked through whatever it was and do not want to dig it all up again.

Thanks for blogging Kate!

This was a great post, Katie, and very well-timed ...

2009-11-23T17:48:47.345-05:00

This was a great post, Katie, and very well-timed for me to read. I also just got done reading a post on "Authenticity" by another blogging (Christian) mom who struggles as well to find balance with blogging about positives as well as negatives. Have you ever read MckMama's blog? http://mycharmingkids.net

Well said, Kate! When I'm tempted to think that I...

2009-11-23T14:04:38.035-05:00

Well said, Kate! When I'm tempted to think that I don't do enough (it doesn't happen to me often, but if it does, it's usually when reading a homeschooling mom's blog), I remember that, just as you said, she's not posting about the 3 a.m. wake-ups or the diaper that leaked a nasty trail from the kitchen to the hallway. I don't ... why would she?

When I post to my blog, I actually strive to keep it upbeat. I rarely publish our trials and certainly don't publish pictures of my living room at the end of the day!

It has nothing to do with whether or not people looking in think that I'm a good mom. They may think whatever they wish. It has to do with maintaining a positive read-osphere, with remembering the best parts of mothering and marriage, with paying tribute to the best parts of life.

Best of all, as you mentioned, blogging keeps us in touch with other moms whom we may not have met otherwise. It's a huge blessing, an extension of the group of mom-friends with which I've already been blessed. And when we communicate with other catholic moms, we are a ministry unto each other.

Great post! :)

Spot on, Kate. You're right, of course, and I adm...

2009-11-23T10:34:52.725-05:00

Spot on, Kate. You're right, of course, and I admit I'm guilty on all charges you mentioned.

I love blogging so much because I have found "friends" like you in the world I never would have known otherwise. I get to share ideas and learn from other women, and I get to be a voice for truth and hopefully a witness for Christ.

But sometimes I have to do just what you said, and step away from the computer and stop comparing myself to other bloggers. Stop comparing my blog to other blogs, too! That's a tough one! So many tricks I'd like to use but I don't have the tech knowledge! sigh...

I appreciate coming here and being blessed by your honesty and openness.

God bless you!

This is great, Kate! Not that I blog or anything,...

2009-11-23T09:27:36.419-05:00

This is great, Kate! Not that I blog or anything, but I do follow a few. I like reading about other families in similar life situations - it gives you good ideas and helps you(me!) feel like I'm not alone in where I am with my family. Keep up the good work - your writings are always an inspiration to me - your spirit is a gift.

Thanks Kate for this post!! I've faced this too, ...

2009-11-23T08:57:00.045-05:00

Thanks Kate for this post!!

I've faced this too, from friends who read my blog (not that I blog much HAHAH) that say "wow, you do so much stuff with your family, etc. I love your pictures, etc..." I'm like, REALLY?" HA!

What I tell them, is before I blogged, many of my days were spent wondering "what did I really do of value with my family, my kids, my time?" When I started blogging - it helped my outlook on life (hence my blog title). I could capture what I DID do with my family, kids, my time. I could record my thoughts, or things that uplifted me, vs the sad thoughts in my head that hang there much of the time (gotta love hormones). I could SEE that yes, I did do something other than chores, errand running, nagging lol, etc. I do LIVE.

I think we moms or blog readers forget that when we read blogs. If I ever get that "grass is greener" way when I read a blog, I try to put on my "outlook" glasses and try to imagine the writer is doing the same thing I do - trying to capture something positive, and maybe if I feel inadequate reading it, I can refocus back on her inspiration, and see if I can then do something special in my own life that brings me inspiration when I log off,

Not that I don't love "daily grind" blogs. The ones that record a day more like mine - I've recorded those days too - I can laugh, cry, or just feel real with them....but I also love (maybe even love/hate/LOVE again lol) posts that make me refocus on recapturing some memories or peace in my own family.

We should try to remember as readers too, sometimes the things we read come from a learned wisdom - and if we can somehow look past the small sting of envy we ALL feel (me especially) we can see the blogger isn't rubbing perfection in our face....but sharing something uplifting and meaningful in their life that brought a perspective they want to share with us in living fallibly, but with gumption.

None of us are perfect, but sharing a green grass moment in your life can maybe inspire some 'yard work' in our lives. Talk about living GREEN!

Keep blogging Kate! Love your REAL inspiration :)

Much love!

Oh Kate, you certainly have a way with words! I w...

2009-11-23T08:22:21.459-05:00

Oh Kate, you certainly have a way with words! I was JUST saying to my hubby last night that I needed a secret alter-ego blog where I could write about my all things that go wrong in my life, all my insecurities, fears, and difficulties. Because I don't really want people to know all the "worst" parts of me. I am creating a place for memories, and I don't want to be negative.

My hubby said "Well, negativity breeds negativity...so keep being positive." Gosh, sometimes that man is 100% right (just sometimes!). There's nothing wrong with having a positive cheery outlook on life, and there's nothing wrong with trying to see everything in that light, even if you are feeling miserable inside. It can help pull me out of a funk to "count my blessings instead of my burdens" (as you said). SO I will keep on focusing on the goodness in my life, and hope that others know that I am a *real* Mom!!

It continues to be an inspiration to see your wisd...

2009-11-23T08:03:03.912-05:00

It continues to be an inspiration to see your wisdom explained, Kate. You do a great job, and it's a pleasure and a blessing to have you in my life.

Big hugs to you!