Momopoly Book Club: The Handbook for Catholic Moms

Dear Readers,

I'm a bibliophile who always has her nose in a book or two. That's why I've decided to start the Momopoly Book Club. This will simply be a series of posts featuring different types of books, author interviews, book reviews, etc. In the combox, I welcome mini discussions of the book (if you've read it), book recommendations, or any bookish remark.

To kick off my book club, I'm featuring an interview with Lisa Hendey, mom, wife, blogger, podcaster, breast cancer survivor, founder of Catholic Mom and the author of The Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul. Here this multitasking maven chats about her book, the writing process, the challenges of motherhood, and more!

I've had the privilege of working with Lisa on several projects and also had the chance to meet her a few years back at the Catholic New Media Celebration. Lisa is a lively, passionate person who is eager to support women in their vocations as wives and mothers. And while her book's conversational tone matches her friendly personality, don't think for a minute that it's only full of fluff. Lisa has written a comprehensive book that covers everything from protecting yourself from identity theft to squeezing in time for fitness, prayer, and fun with your spouse. It truly is a handbook that every mom should have on their reference shelf.  It would make a lovely gift for a special mom in your life (Remember Mother's Day is Sunday, May 9th).

Without further ado, here's my recent interview with the ever-talented and amazing Lisa Hendey.

1. Tell us a little bit about your new book, The Handbook for Catholic Moms: Nurturing Your Heart, Mind, Body, and Soul. It almost appears to serve as a primer for "all things Catholic Mom." In fact, I feel like I now have a book that compiles many of the great wisdom and resources that is shared on your CatholicMom.com site. What prompted you to write the book? What are some of the topics you cover?

First of all Kate, thank you for the wonderful opportunity to share about my book with your readers!  As a fan of your blog, it’s very fun to be a guest on Momopoly,  I think you’re on target when you call The Handbook for Catholic Moms a great companion piece to CatholicMom.com.  This was our goal from the start with the book, to provide a lasting, cumulative resource that would serve as the “go to” reference for Catholic Moms.

I was encouraged to take on this project in collaboration with my wonderful publisher, Ave Maria Press, who recognized the work we’d accomplished through the website and wanted to provide me with an even larger and more lasting platform to support and encourage Catholic moms.  I can’t thank them enough for their belief in me and for their conviction that this was an important message to share.

As you know, the book is aimed at supporting and encouraging Catholic moms in their mothering vocation.  I am convinced that for us to truly serve our families, we need to nurture and take care of ourselves.  The book is divided into four sections: Heart, Mind, Body and Soul.  The Heart section looks at our relationships.  Mind explores all of the intellectual pursuits in a mom’s life – everything from career issues to handling family finances.  The Body section of the book urges a mom to care for herself physically.  The Soul section, my favorite part of the book, shares all of the wonderful treasures of our faith that can be used by a mom to nurture herself spiritually.

2. Why is there a need for a book of this nature?

In ten years of relating to women on CatholicMom.com, I’ve noticed that a mainstay of my work on the website is encouraging women who at times feel frustrated, burned out, confused, or even bitter about their roles as wife and mom.  We spend so much time and energy taking care of everyone else around us that we often neglect our own self-care.  Although our intentions are good, the results can be disastrous.   There are many wonderful parenting books on the market, both from Catholic and secular perspectives, but few of them look at a Catholic mom’s vocation from this particular perspective.

3. Who is your target audience for the book?

Thanks for asking!  I’ve been taken to task a few times recently from Catholic dads, grandfathers, and singles who feel “left out” by the title of my book.  But my true audience for this book is Catholic moms.  The amazing thing though, is that Catholic moms come in so many shapes and sizes.  We’ve attempted to provide something for moms of any age, and in any parenting situation.  The book reaches out to "stay at home” moms, career women, homeschoolers, and grandmothers.  We have also included resources for single mothers, those living in blended families, mothers of children with special needs, and foster and adoptive moms as well.  That being said, many of the topics discussed in the book are relevant to any Catholic, and many men have told me that they’ve benefited greatly from reading the book.

4. Your book features many anecdotes from other Catholic moms (and some Catholic men, too!). Why did you want to incorporate different voices in your book?

Kate, I am thrilled that you and so many other faith-filled Catholics are among my many “co-authors” for this book.  When I conceived the project, I knew from the outset that I wanted to get other voices involved.  This has been the largest contributing factor for the success and growth of CatholicMom.com, and I felt it was critical to the book project.

Honestly, as I share in the introduction to The Handbook for Catholic Moms, I do not consider myself to be the “expert” on Catholic parenting.  I wanted to share “real world” perspectives from my own life and from people I admired and respected.  Each chapter contains formal sidebar contributions on the topic being discussed, and those voices were hand selected after a great deal of consideration.  But the book also contains countless anecdotes from Catholic families literally around the world.  These were contributed via CatholicMom.com, Faith & Family, and my various social networking communities.   In our Church, there are so many different ways of living out the vocation to Catholic motherhood, and having more voices involved means that the book can serve moms in a more expansive and credible way.

5. What has been one of your biggest challenges as a Catholic wife and mom?

I believe the greatest challenges came when my sons Eric and Adam were younger, prior to my husband Greg’s joining the Catholic Church through the RCIA process.  I felt a great responsibility to raise my boys in the faith, and to share my love of our Church with them, but this also felt like a very large burden to carry on my own.

I was blessed beyond measure with a husband who was very supportive of their reception of the sacraments and very committed to their Catholic education.  But being the spiritual leader of my little domestic church often felt like a weight that was too heavy to carry on my own.  In retrospect, I see now that I really wasn’t doing it by myself, but at the time I often felt like a failure.  I judged myself too harshly, and I also let a lot of my frustration with the situation impact upon my relationship with my husband.   Greg’s conversion process and my own spiritual journey have helped me look at the situation with a bit more maturity than I had at that time.  I have a true heart for Catholic moms and dads who find themselves in this situation, and have tried to support and encourage them in my writing.

6.  Who have been some of your greatest positive influences in your journey as a Catholic mom and wife?

Without a doubt, my greatest influences have been my own parents, and specifically my mother, who is to me the template for a great “Catholic Mom." My parents have enjoyed a loving marriage and have raised five children who love and respect our Catholic Church.  I cherish them and the rest of my family with all of my heart.

My husband Greg and my teenage sons Eric and Adam are the lights of my life and have put up with my “on the job” training in learning what being a Catholic wife and mom really means.

Additionally, I have to thank our many contributors at CatholicMom.com, who minister to me and so many others every day with their generous sharing of their spirit and writing talents.  Women and men like you, Kate, make the CatholicMom.com website a spiritual home for so many families around the world!

I’m also blessed with two amazing sisters and a handful of girlfriends who are always present to support and encourage me, to celebrate my successes with me and to pick me up when I fall short.

7. What writers and/or books have inspired you (fiction or nonfiction) as writer, mom, and/or wife?

I have a great love for the Bible, and I truly feel that it is the single most important book in my library – I will spend a lifetime learning from it.  I love reading about the lives of the saints – my favorite priest gifted me his old copy of Butler’s Lives of the Saints, and it is one of my favorite books as well.  My life continues to be changed by the book Story of a Soul, the autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux.

In terms of current authors, I’m blessed to have met and interviewed many of my favorites, and even to count some of them as friends.  I am inspired by Danielle Bean, Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle, Fr. Jim Martin, Amy Welborn, Matthew Kelly, Mark Hart and so many of our contemporary Catholic authors.  As a book lover, I’m incredibly lucky to come into contact every week with great Catholic writers!

8. I have several aspiring writers who read my blog. Could you please share a bit about your writing process? How long did you spend each day writing the book? What was the biggest challenge you faced during the writing process? Do you have any words of encouragement for other moms who are dreaming of being published?

Great question – being published was always one of my lifelong dreams, but I never believed it was a goal I would actually accomplish.  So holding the finished copy of The Handbook for Catholic Moms in my hands is still a joy that brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes! 

Ironically, writing this book happened at the same time as the greatest health challenge of my life.  Last year, write before I began serious writing on the manuscript, I was diagnosed with DCIS, the most common form of non-invasive breast cancer.  My treatment consisted of surgery and seven weeks of daily radiation treatment.  I was fortunately able to continue working through my treatments, so my daily writing process was almost a retreat-like experience!  In January of 2009, I began my daily routine:  Drop my son Adam off at school, attend daily Mass, go to radiation, and then head to a local university library to write until it was time to pick up Adam at school.  I have a home office, but I found that getting out of my normal work environment enabled me to more fully focus on my book writing.  I began serious writing in January and was finished with the first draft of the book in mid April.  Honestly, with so many folks praying for me and contributing to the project, I felt like I had an entire team behind me!

Writing a book is a bit like having a baby in many ways [Note from Kate: It's so funny that Lisa said this because I have a draft of a long-winded post that compares the process of writing to labor and mothering! Stay tuned!].  When you are in the midst of the project, you often think, “Never again!”  And yet, when you are done, you can’t wait to do it again!

As far as words of encouragement, perhaps the greatest thing I could advise is that you pursue your dreams.  As moms, we often put our own dreams on hold to raise and serve our families – and yet, there are so many seasons in our lives.  If you love writing, practice your craft a bit each day – even if you only spend five minutes writing in a journal or blogging.  Cultivate and capture ideas for the treasures they are.  Always carry a small notebook with you – you never know when God will share a true pearl with you!  Find your voice.  Honestly, the books I love most are not the great spiritual treatises, but rather those that capture a sense of authenticity that gives me an insight into the author’s soul.  Write what you know.  Share your words with others, even if those others are your children, your sister, your best friend, or your husband.  And don’t give up – honestly I still can’t properly convey the many moments of grace that developed into me being a published author.  If it can happen in my life, it can happen to anyone! Pray prior to writing and always have the goal of glorifying God and serving others with your craft – if we have success in those two goals, everything else is gravy. 

9. If you had to give one piece of advice to a fellow Christian mom, what would it be?

Love God with all of your heart, mind and soul.  Love your husband and your children with every ounce of your fiber, but don’t neglect yourself in that process.  Find the happiness, the blessing, in every moment – don’t wish away the tough times, but rather embrace them for what they are.  Care for those you love most by taking care of yourself in your relationships, intellectually, physically and spiritually.

10. Anything else you'd like to add?

Thank you Kate, for this opportunity to visit, as well as for the wonderful way in which you minister to those of us who enjoy your writing!  I will keep you and your readers in my prayers.


For more info or to purchase Lisa's wonderful book, click on over here.

Birthday Daybook

I've really enjoyed reading Daybooks from bloggers like Elizabeth Foss and Sarah Reinhard over the past few months, so I've decided to start occasionally sharing my own Daybook.

The Simple Woman's Daybook idea began with Peggy in 2008. I've decided to adopt some of its headings, make up some of my own as well as borrow some from folks like Sarah and Elizabeth.



Outside my window...

Sunshine, glorious, sunshine! It's finally starting to feel like spring in Georgia.



I'm listening to...

The groaning of the washer and the clanking of the dryer. They're good sounds; I'm way behind on laundry. The humming of a five-year-old as she makes patterns on her Geoboard and a two-year-old talking to her Geobands as if they were people.




I'm thinking...

I recently turned 31. I don't feel old. I didn't feel old when I turned 30 either.

I don't understand why some women dread their thirties. To tell the truth, I feel relieved to be through with my twenties. There was so much uncertainty in that decade. There was all this pressure to find out my life's vocation, to snag the perfect soul mate, and to ponder the meaning of life. Oh, the angst!

What makes matters worse is everyone tells 20-somethings that they’d better enjoy this time because these are the best years of their lives. I remember feeling a sense of dread and wondering if that was really true - that it all goes downhill from here.

It wasn't. Life has only been getting better. Or maybe I've been getting better at taking the good with the bad. Whereas my twenties were defined by searching, my thirties seem to be about settling. Not settling for less, but settling for where I'm at any given moment, settling into the rhythm of motherhood, settling into being married to the same wonderful man for nearly 10 years, settling into my own skin and feeling good in it (on most days), too.

Bring on the birthday candles!



I am wearing...

A button-down blouse with navy and white stripes, jeans, and brown ballet flats. It's a very classic look - a look my husband loves.




I am thankful for...

A perfect birthday. My mom (Gaba), Rae, Madeline, and Mary Elizabeth and I had a girls' day together. It was 70 degrees and sunny. We started the day off with Mass, and then I went to confession. Then my mom took us shopping and to lunch. (I felt a little guilty breaking my shopping fast, but my mom assured me that I had dispensation since this was gift from her and my dad to me.)
:-)

Dave came home from work with a balloon, a chocolate cake (yes, I indulged. It's tough having a birthday during Lent year after year), and delicious Indian food. The girls gave me their presents handpicked by them during a Saturday morning errand with Daddy, and they helped me blow out my candles. Madeline made me a card that included some "poetry" she'd written. I'm not sure who was happier with the celebration - me or my girls.

Oh, and for an affirmation junkie like myself it sure was nice to receive so many phone calls, emails and Facebook birthday wishes and not to mention, old-fashioned snail mail cards. Thank you, thank you to everyone for making my birthday a special one!




On the homeschooling front...

I've started planning for next year. We've had a few minor bumps this year mostly involving me doubting my ability to homeschool my kids (while staying sane), but we're starting to get in to the groove. There are some days when I still feel exasperated or insecure, but there are many more days when I think to myself, "I love this," and I realize what a gift it is to be my children's primary teacher.




Around the house...

Purging feels good. I've only got 13 of my 40 Bags for 40 days, so there's more work to be done.



In the kitchen...

Here's a look at my meal plans for the rest of the week:

Tuesday
Chicken noodle soup leftovers and whole wheat banana bread (I haven't gotten around to posting this one; I'll add it to my growing online recipe bank one of these days.)

Wednesday
Yogurt marinated chicken with roasted asparagus (sprinkle asaparagus with olive oil and Kosher salt and roast at 425 degrees for 20-25 minutes)

Thursday
Turkey gumbo from this cookbook

Friday
Daddy On-Call Quiche (since Daddy won't be home for dinner) and crockpot applesauce



On wholeness...

Spiritually, I'm trying to spend at least five minutes listening to God. Confession was good, too. I always forget what a gift confession is until I find myself casting my cares, my sins, and and fears on God's broad shoulders. I never feel lighter than after a good confession.

Mentally, I'm striving to carve out time to write without sacrificing sleep. I'm also reading before bed every night as a way to unwind.

Physically, I've been aiming to walk outside on most days now that the weather has been better. The sunshine and movement are like Prozac for the soul.



I'm reading...

Unaccustomed Earth by Jhumpa Lahiri and The Handbook for Catholic Moms by Lisa Hendey

My two-year-old is really in to Mr. Rabbit and the Lovely Present by Charlotte Zolotow (probably because of my recent birthday). Charlotte Zolotow is quickly becoming one of my all-time favorite children's authors. She uses imagery and lyrical language to tell stories that capture my children's attention and heart. (If you have daughters, you must read Big Sister and Little Sister. Madeline loves to take care of her baby sisters like the big sister in this book, and Rachel has recognized the times when her big sister might need some care from her, too. The book is a wonderful primer on empathy within the family.)



I'm creating...

Our spring menu. Bring on the asparagus! I love the nifty Locavore App that tells you what else is in season and available at your nearby farmers' markets.



I'm hoping and praying...

For a friend who is concerned about her little girl and the bruises that keep popping up on her skin.

For continued healing for my dear mama.

For my daughter's godmother who is preparing for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony and will be marrying her beloved in April in New York City. (We'll be headed to the Big Apple, too, since I'm a bridesmaid, and Madeline will be filling the role of flower girl.)




To live the Liturgy...
I'm planning for the Feast of Saint Joseph. Any ideas for crafts targeted at little ones (ages 3-5)? I'll be teaching my co-op that day and always like to incorporate a hands-on activity. Comments are closed for Lent, but you can email me at kmwicker [at] gmail [dot] com.



My Lent so far...

The theme of my Lent this year seems to be disconnecting from all those things (think: Internet) that are distracting me from living a full and in-the-moment life of goodness and reconnecting with the only Source of Wisdom and Love there is and ever shall be.

I have a lot of thoughts on this, and I'm scribbling down notes and plan to write about it after Lent.

Until then, read this and this. So many of us are constantly weighing the pros and cons of the connected world we live in. It's a difficult balancing act to use technology enough that it keeps you in the loop and allows you to connect with people you never would have met otherwise and not allowing it to enslave you.



One of my favorite things...

Hearing Mary Elizabeth say, "Mama." You'd think hearing those words tumble from my baby's mouth would have lost some its magic since she's my third chatterbox. But when she recently started crying for me and reached her arms and said, "Mama," my eyes teared up and my heart soared.



Words to the wise...

"Every time you meet another human being you have an opportunity. It's a chance at holiness. For you will do one of two things. Either you will build him up, or you will tear him down. Either you will acknowledge that he is, or you will make him sorry that he is- sorry at least that he is there, in front of you. You will create, or you will destroy. And the things you dignify or deny are God's own property. They are made, each one of them, in His own image.

There are no useless, minor meetings. There are no dead-end jobs. There are no pointless lives. Swallow your sorrows, forget your grievances and all the hurt your poor life has sustained. Turn your face truly to the human before you and let him for one pure moment, shine. Think him important, and he will suspect that his is fashioned of God."

~from Familia training materials



A few plans for the rest of the week...


My priority this week is to continue to catch up on sleep. I have to tackle a freelance deadline as well as wrap up another chapter of my book.

We'll be enjoying the beginnings of spring, too. Several nature walks are on this week's agenda.



A picture thought I'm sharing...

I really need to work on Mary Elizabeth's diet. :-)

 

Comments are closed for Lent.

Mother Teresa and Donna-Marie

Today I'm honored to share an interview with Donna Marie Cooper O'Boyle (pictured left), a wife, mom, author, and speaker who is committed to encouraging others to seek holiness in the context of a happy Catholic family.

Donna Marie's most recent book, Mother Teresa and Me: Ten Years of Friendship, recounts the lessons learned from a ten-year relationship with the humble nun from Calcutta who is known for serving the poorest of the poor.

When I was in seventh grade, a close friend of mine led me to fell in love with the wisdom of Mother Teresa. Later in life I first felt an authentic call to motherhood while commuting on a train to work and reading A Simple Path. Coincidentally, I discovered after reading Donna Marie's book that Mother Teresa received her "call within a call" - her first inspiration to start the Missionaries of Charity - while sitting aboard a train as well.

While my devotion to Mother Teresa has been long-lived, the magnitude of her works and her life have often made her seem aloof and unreachable to me. What Donna Marie's book did for me was to make Mother Teresa real. The book includes snippets of personal correspondence with Mother Teresa as well as photographs of the saint-in-the-making with Donna Marie's children. While Donna Marie's book focused on this one pious woman, it serves as a reminder that the entire "great cloud of witnesses" in which we call saints are not impassable, holy people who are just "out there." They are people we can turn to in our struggles and in our joy for inspiration. They are people who have stumbled under the weight of their crosses just as we do. They are people who wrote letters and hugged children and asked for prayers on their behalf. They are true friends in Christ.

I took advantage of a recent weekend on the road and read Mother Teresa and Me in two days. As is true with all of her books, Donna Marie's words encourage, inspire, and reaffirm the value of traditional motherhood. (Go, Moms!) But what sets this book apart is that it takes an intimate look into the life of a small woman who made a big difference not only in the lives of the people she served but in the world.

Now from Donna Marie:

Donna Marie, I am so honored to have you over here at my little corner of cyberspace. Thanks for sharing your time and talents with us all. Now please tell us a little bit about your relationship with Mother Teresa.

I met Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta in Washington DC a little more than 22 years ago at the Missionaries of Charity convent. My spiritual director at the time, Father John A. Hardon S.J., invited my family down to see him at Georgetown University where he taught theology. We had a lovely visit and were then encouraged by Fr. Hardon to visit the patients at the “Gift of Peace” home at the Missionaries of Charity convent. We visited the terminally ill AIDS and cancer patients there and observed the loving care given to them by the nuns. The nuns invited us to come back the next day for Mass at their private chapel. We were told that Mother Teresa would be attending one of their Masses. I had no idea up until that point that she was even in the country!

What prompted you to write Mother Teresa and Me?

I received countless blessings from God from knowing the amazing “saint” of the gutters. I kept most of it to myself for many years, and then there came a time when I felt inspired to share the blessings with others. God didn’t want me to hide my light under a bushel. God gave me the courage and prodded me to share very personal parts of my life and much of my personal friendship with my Mother, teacher, mentor, spiritual guide, and friend.

In the book, you include some of your personal correspondence with Mother Teresa as well as several photos of her with you and your children. How did meeting Mother Teresa and seeing her with your children impact your vocation as a mother? What about your children? What's their reaction when they see themselves pictured with a woman who is recognized throughout the world as someone who devoted her life to serving the poorest of the poor and is sure to become a saint in the Catholic Church?

Yes, some excerpts of the 22 letters I received from Mother Teresa over the years are included in my book. People have already been telling me that the words are speaking to their hearts, too. I am very glad that I was blessed to have some photos of my children and a few of me with Mother Teresa, too. You know, you didn’t exactly pull out your camera when you were with Mother Teresa. She didn’t like to be photographed. She was very humble, after all. So, the fact that we do have some photos (mostly taken by a co-worker or sister nearby) is a real blessing!

Regarding your question about how meeting Mother Teresa impacted my vocation as a mother, I think that knowing her and being in contact with her deepened my spiritual life and my prayer life a great deal and couldn’t help but affect my vocation as a mother – it strengthened it for sure.

My children, how do they react knowing they are pictured with a living “saint”? They are appreciative of all of the blessings in their lives and they took it all in stride as I did. We didn’t question the blessings. We accepted them all as they came and are extremely grateful.

Tell me a little more about your devotion to the Miraculous Medal.

I wear a blessed Miraculous medal always and have been for as long as I can remember. The one I wear was given to me by Mother Teresa during a high risk pregnancy with my daughter Mary-Catherine. I wrote about the Miraculous medal in my book, Catholic Saints Prayer Book (OSV, 2008) in my account of St. Catherine Laboure. I also speak at length about the medal in Mother Teresa and Me and recount a story that Fr. Hardon told me about his miraculous experience with the medal. I am very devoted to this medal, which is a sacramental of our Church and a means to put ourselves under the protection of our Blessed Mother who will bring us closer to Jesus. I try to give a blessed Miraculous medal to all I meet through my speaking events and book signings. I send them with the book orders, too. I feel I am carrying on the tradition of Mother Teresa of giving the medal to those she met.

I've read many of your books and one theme that seems to consistently pop up is that as mothers, we are called to serve our families first. Mother Teresa said, "Love begins at home." What would you say to a mother who feels discouraged that she is hidden in her home and not able to minister to greater society as much as she might like?

Yes, our love begins at home. God puts us exactly where He wants us. While a mother may want to run off to Calcutta to serve the poor or even help out in her community or parish, it would actually be wrong for her to do so if she were neglecting her family in any way in the process. We must remain humble and trust God that He knows what’s best for us. He knows exactly what we need. Many of the saints, including St. Therese of Lisieux and Mother Teresa, too, preached that all of the little things in our lives are so important.

We shouldn’t neglect all of the little details that make up our lives feeling that they are unimportant. Doing the things that may seem mundane or monotonous to a mother, when performed lovingly and even joyfully, work miracles! Truly, they do, we have to trust God for that. Our place as a mother is to care for and raise our family properly. Other opportunities will arise as we are out and about in the community when we become a “mother” to the Girl Scout troop or the Little League team and so on.

When a mother feels discouraged about her little tasks in the home or because she feels her efforts aren’t amounting to much, she just needs to look into the eyes of her family members and she will see Jesus there when she offers her life to God and asks for His holy will in her life. She’ll feel at peace wherever God puts her along her journey knowing that it is all a means to her sanctification and that of her family’s too. So, even though it seems like the mother’s evangelizing isn’t making it to the “ends of the earth” as we are prodded to do as Christians, she should be content that Our Lord is truly working under her roof in her domestic church and the time will come when she can evangelize in other places, too. If her children aren’t evangelized properly with love and the teachings of the Church, they won’t be able to get the Gospel to the “ends of the earth.”

Everything we do, no matter how small it may seem when lovingly done is extremely important to our spiritual lives and those around us. Nothing is insignificant!

In your book, you mention an apostolate you founded after being inspired by Mother Teresa's tireless devotion to the poor called Friends of Veronica. Tell us a little more about this apostolate. How can others support this or the Missionaries of Charity?

Friends of Veronica was founded in honor of Blessed Teresa’s Beatification and the 25th anniversary of Pope John Paul II’s Papacy. It is an outreach to seniors, shut-ins, and the lonely in nursing homes or hospitals. I started it in my parish, and I hope and pray that it will flourish around the country and maybe the world.

Anyone interested in starting a group of volunteers in their own parish or community can contact me through email: DMCOBoyle@aol.com. I plan to develop a spiritual branch of Friends of Veronica as well in time, by God’s grace. The reason I named this apostolate Friends of Veronica is that the loving service accomplished through it is an imitation of St. Veronica’s loving gesture to wipe Our Lord’s swollen, and wounded blood-streaked Holy Face as He walked Cavalry. When we give love to others, we are serving Jesus; we are loving Him.

What is it like to be a part of the lay Missionary of Charity movement? How can readers learn more about becoming a lay Missionary of Charity?

Being part of the Missionaries of Charity is a real blessing. I write about it in Mother Teresa and Me. To learn more, please click here.

If you had to sum up in one sentence the most valuable lesson Mother Teresa taught you in your ten years of friendship, what would it be?

Mother Teresa taught me to love with Christ’s love and to not be afraid to answer Our Lord with my own “YES!”

Anything else you'd like to add?

Thank you very much for this interview, Kate. I pray that Mother Teresa and Me: Ten Years of Friendship will inspire others to a deeper union with Jesus and that it may also awaken in them what their own mission in life is. Mother Teresa’s “YES” to God changed the world forever by opening our eyes to the plight of the poor, not just those who are starving for a piece of bread, but those who are starving for love. I hope that readers will ponder and pray about what Our Lord is calling them to do. I hope they ask themselves, “Will I say “YES!” to God?" And then do it! Our Lord is waiting for our full surrender to His holy will for us.

An autographed copy of Mother Teresa and Me can be purchased through my website. I’ll also send a blessed Miraculous medal with every book ordered.

Now I (Kate again) leave you with a quote from Mother Teresa and Me to ponder: "Time will rarely come to us freely - we have to seek it. It's not something we can easily part with, but we have to loosen our grasp on it and share it [with those in need]. This is where God will work. When we give him all our time, he will bless it."

Advent Smorgasbord

Life's been incredibly busy, which explains the recent onslaught of photos (rather than words) of my kids that are incredibly interesting if you answer to the name of Grandma. Otherwise, not so much. Our family has lots of exciting things unfolding in our lives (no, I'm not pregnant), and I hope to go into more detail soon.

In the meantime, here's a look at what we've been up to during the first two weeks of Advent:

Last year I was a super ambitious blogger and included a different way to celebrate this glorious season of waiting for each day of Advent. I had grand plans to do the same this year. God (and my husband) laughed at my plans and pointed out that anyone who includes "take a shower" on her to-do list probably ought to hold off on doing anything extra for a bit. That said, you can find my ideas from last year here.  
Many of the posts reference family traditions like the handprint angels we make every year (we added Rudolph to the mix this year). Madeline is also already talking about making Jesus' birthday cake with her Nana. And we always celebrate the St. Nicholas Feast Day on December 6th. This past weekend our stockings were hanging above the chimney with care with hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there (He didn't disappoint and left small trinkets for the girls).

To remind my children of the man behind all the magic, we clicked around the St. Nicholas Center and also read about the Bishop of Myra from Sister Wendy's Book of Saints.

The girls and I are participating in the Holy Heroes Advent Adventure. This is a great, free program that Madeline, who just turned 5, has really enjoyed. Part of the program is making ornaments for a Jesse Tree. Your tree can be as simple as you like. We've been making felt ornaments that look a lot remotely like the styles shown on Serendipity. In addition, we've been praying a decade of the rosary together using the Joyful Mysteries (almost) every day. After we pray the girls color a picture depicting that day's Mystery or an illustration related to the Feast Day. On Tuesday they colored a picture of Mary in honor of the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception.

We've set up our manger. Gaba (my mom) buys each of the girls a piece from the Fontanini collection. I can't say enough good things about this Nativity set. It's durable enough for little hands; yet, the figures are realistic and beautiful. Mary and Joseph are gathered in the stable, but in our home the Holy Family is not complete. During Advent Baby Jesus is missing from the manger and won't appear until Christmas morning. I've carried this tradition from my own childhood. When Madeline asks where Jesus is, I tell her we're waiting for him and we have to keep searching our homes (for the figure!) and our hearts for him (the real Him!). This reminds children of the "reason for the season." We also have a baby doll crib where we add strands of yarn (to represent hay) each time one of the girls makes a sacrifice (like makes her bed without asking). Madeline is very eager to make the softest possible bed for Baby Jesus come Christmas.

I'm also using O Divine Night's Alphabet Advent to make the season come alive for my little ones. The 2009 Advent season is 26 days long, so each day we cut a link from a paper chain that includes words associated with the season that begin with the letter from the alphabet that correspond to that particular day. Then I plan activities around the words.

 

For example, on the first day of Advent, we talked about angels and made these cute, little guys (pictured above), adapted from this craft idea. On the third day, we baked our first set of cookies for "C." On the "D" day we listened to Little Drummer Boy and read the Ezra Jack Keats board book. We made gingerbread cookies and sang "Gloria" for "G" this week. You can do as much or as little as you want, but I'm trying to have at least one book to read for each day as well as a small craft or activity. There are tons of ideas for crafts, activities, and other ways to celebrate the Advent and Christmas season over at O Divine Night. Download the Advent Alphabet links here.

We've been reading a lot of wonderful stories. Here's a sampling of a few of our Advent and Christmas favorites:


Merry Christmas, Strega Nona! by Tomie dePaola





"Why the Chimes Rang" from William Bennett's The Children's Book of Faith

We read this on "B" day since "B" is for bells. I'm a big fan of Bennett's children's book series. The illustrious Michael Hague provides the art for all of the books, which are filled with meaningful, engaging stories by myriad authors. The stories teach children about virtue, faith, patriotism, and what it means to be a hero. Both The Children's Book of Faith and The Children's Book of Virtues make great baptismal or First Communion gifts.

The Legend of the Candy Cane by Lori Walburg

We don't only eat those minty candy canes because they taste yummy as this Christmas tale reminds us. This book explains the origin of the candy cane from a religious perspective.


On this Special Night by Claire Freedman

This book's breathtakingly beautiful illustrations are a visual feast. My girls love the depictions of the gentle farm animals who are following a star on "this special night" - the night our Savior was born.


Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus! Pictures by Ken Munowitz/text by Charles L. Mee, Jr.

This book is sadly out of print, but I remember loving it as a child and now enjoy reading it to my children. Madeline wants to act out the book on Christmas Eve for the extended family and has cast herself as Mary, Daddy as Joseph, Rae as an angel, me as the narrator, and M.E. as Baby Jesus.

The Last Straw by Frederick Thury

I'm getting a little ahead of myself here because this book is really an Epiphany tale about an old, prideful camel named Hoshmakaka who learns a lesson in humility as he carries a heavy load of gifts to the Christ Child. Madeline just saw the image of the book cover and said, "Oooooo. That's my favorite Christmas book." Mother tested, kid approved.

Next year I plan on using Elizabeth Foss's Literature Unit for Advent and Christmas, so I'll be adding a slew of books to my wish list. (Yes, I'm already thinking about next Advent. That's what Type Aers - as in anal - do.)

As always, we'll be spending time in the kitchen getting flour on the floor, in our hair, and everywhere else (ah, the joys of baking with little sous chefs). We've already made two batches of sugar cookies as well as a batch of gingerbread people (Madeline clothed most of them in gaudy garments embellished with every kind of sprinkle imaginable). All our cookies so far are smothered in frosting and waiting in the freezer with a "DO NOT EAT" (That means you, Daddy!) post-it note.

We'll also be making some breakfast foods like muffins and breads (and maybe scones; you know how I can't get enough of those things) to bring to my Mom and Dad's since they'll be hosting tons of family there this year. (It's the least I can do to help Mom out who's still recovering from her summer surgery).

I always let Madeline have a say when we're picking out goodies to bake, and she really wants to make these Santa Hats so we'll be giving them a try, too. (I haven't had as much luck with meringue in the past, but I'm up for a new challenge in the kitchen. I'm crazy.)

Finally, I saw this food craft idea to make edible candles, and Madeline and I decided to adapt it to Advent. These might make a tasty addition to your Gaudete Sunday celebration.

 

To counter all these sweets, I'm keeping our lunch and dinner menus healthy and light and am making lots of soups and salads. (I recently raided the freezer and stripped it of all the Thanksgiving leftovers to make a hearty "stoup.")

Speaking of Gaudete Sunday, our homeschooling co-op is having a party on Sunday afternoon. Older children will be performing a living rosary and will be acting out the Joyous Mysteries. Then we're going to have a big fiesta in honor of Our Lady of Guadalupe complete with a pinata and Mexican fare. I'm making a light and healthy salad. Combine corn (canned corn is fine), chopped red bell peppers, diced avocado, and black beans with olive oil, cumin, salt and pepper, and fresh lime juice. Serve cold or at room temperature.

How about you? How's Advent coming along? I'd love to hear about any traditions you might have to celebrate this special season.

Complete Pregnancy Fitness DVD Set Review

UPDATE: The giveaway is now posted at Catholic Mom.

Anne McClure of Catholic Mommy Brain recently invited me to review the Complete Pregnancy Fitness with Erin O'Brien DVD set as a part of Catholic Mom Pregnancy Giveaway. As someone who was already a big fan of the Prenatal Fix DVD, I was eager to test out the Postnatal Rescue.

I’ve tried my share of prenatal workouts (thanks, Netlfix!), and O'Brien's Prenatal Fix is by far my favorite prenatal fitness DVD. I’m a big believer in staying fit during pregnancy (providing you get the green light from your midwife or OB/GYN), and this is one of the few prenatal routines I've seen that pushes you physically. All the exercises are completely safe for pregnant women, but it's challenging enough to rev up your heart rate and give you a good workout.

Erin, a personal trainer and certified exercise instructor, leads you through a 40-minute routine that includes cardio, strength training, and tension-relieving stretches. I did the workout once or twice a week while pregnant with my third, and I could feel the burn - in a good way.

The fitness routine’s setting is a living room, and no fancy equipment is required. I hate it when DVDs become impractical for at-home moms because they call for enough fitness gear to equip a small gym. That just seems to defeat the economy and convenience of using DVDs to exercise.

In addition, Erin is very pregnant in the DVD and actually does the same routine she leads the viewer in, and she even thinks to give you a potty stop during the workout (I definitely took advantage of this built-in break later in pregnancy). Erin’s demeanor is encouraging but not too chirpy. (I’d bet most preggos would agree that an overly perky instructor can be a bit unnerving when you're at the point where you can actually feel your hemorrhoids as you practice your squats.)

The DVD also includes a partner routine where Erin demonstrates moves with her husband, actor James Denton of Desperate Housewives. This is not a selling point for me because number one, I don't watch the show and because number two, I strongly suspect my husband, as wonderful he is, would find it ridiculous if I asked him to allow me to use him as a human resistant band. (I actually tested my theory by showing him a clip of the partner workout, and his expression said only one thing: "You can't be serious.")

I also enjoyed Postnatal Rescue, the second DVD of the set, although I admit I went straight to the third exercise progression since my baby’s nearly seven months now and I was very fortunate to have an easy delivery. However, the DVD is appropriate for brand new moms since it offers three exercise progressions that allow you to ease back into exercise in the postpartum period.

Each of the progressive workouts is 15 minutes and works the back, abs, buttocks, inner thighs, and hips. Research shows that just 15 minutes of resistance training, two to three times a week, can boost your muscle strength. That’s good news for busy moms who are short on time.

The promotional materials say the DVD is designed for women to use from the start of their recovery after labor (the DVD includes a bonus section that guides you through gentle first stretches) to one year postpartum; however, if you’re a regular exerciser, you’ll probably be ready to move on to something more challenging before your baby’s first birthday. Don’t get me wrong: Erin’s Pilates-inspired moves provide a good workout and offer the kind of moves that look effortless but really target the muscle groups affected by pregnancy. But those who are more militant about fitness probably will be ready to up the ante – or at least the length of the workout beyond the 15-minute sessions – before their baby is blowing out her first candles. (Erin does recommend incorporating at least 20 minutes of cardio a day to bounce back from pregnancy more quickly.)

I've personally reaped the emotional and physical benefits of breaking a sweat and aim to exercise a little bit almost every day whether pregnant or not, so I’m always looking for new, quality exercise DVDs that provide simple but effective workouts that I can squeeze into my life as an at-home mom. Erin O’Brien’s Complete Pregnancy Fix fits the bill.

Stop by Catholic Mom for a chance to win the DVD set, or buy it here.

You can also purchase the DVDs separately:
Prenatal Fitness Fix
Postnatal Rescue

Grace Before Meals

Matthew Warner of Fallible Blogma recently launched “Support a Catholic Speaker Month.” As part of his initiative, he invited bloggers to “adopt” speakers and to share information about them and/or their apostolates in order to support those who give the Catholic Church a voice and help to spread the Good News.

I’m beyond thrilled to be showcasing Father Leo Patalinghug, the faith-filled foodie and face of Grace Before Meals, a movement that strives to build stronger families and communities one meal at a time. I had the opportunity to chat with Fr. Leo earlier this week, but this isn’t the first time I’ve encountered the down-to-earth priest. Back in 2008, I had the chance to hear Fr. Leo speak at the Catholic New Media Celebration. And along with millions of other viewers, I watched him duel it out with Bobby Flay on national television.

What continues to impress me about Fr. Leo - besides his charisma and the way he wields a chopping knife - is his humility. Sure, he's funny and good behind a camera - a born entertainer - but right off the bat you sense that this isn’t about him. This is about God and giving others their daily bread.

During Throw Down with Bobby Flay, the renowned celebrity chef made the observation that Fr. Leo feeds appetites as well as souls. That he does. This is what I hope to do in my kitchen as well: To nourish my family both physically and spiritually and to serve them well.

Now more from the culinary master himself:

Please share with us your journey into the priesthood and into the kitchen.

“It was a slow conversion. It really started as a reversion back to the faith when I was about 19 years old and coming to understand the Eucharist better. I started praying more on my own, which led me to a more active life in the Church. From there it was a very natural progression of me realizing I enjoyed the faith so much.

Then there was that fated phone call of actually talking to someone in the priesthood about the priesthood. I went on some discernment retreats. I finally made the application. I was accepted. I went to Catholic University for one year, and then they sent me to the North American College in Rome for the rest of my training in the priesthood. That’s where I fell in love with the whole idea of cooking. I’d always done it, but there’s something about being in Rome and being with Italians. Their love for food is amazing. There were many times when dinners would last three or four hours. [The long meals] helped to turn my seminarian classmates into true brothers in Christ, so that’s how I ended up spending a lot of time in the kitchen. I missed family meals, and serving meals gave me a chance to start a new brotherhood with these guys."

Tell us about Grace Before Meals. How did it get started?

“The idea for Grace Before Meals started shortly after September 11th because I was supposed to go to France with two other priests, but all of our flights were canceled. Instead, we went on retreat by ourselves, and I did a lot of cooking. A priest just suggested how much fun it would be to film me cooking and talking and sharing a little bit about faith, family, and food. I honestly told him that was one of the stupidest ideas I’d ever heard, but he kept egging me about it. And the other priests did, too, because they knew there was a great need to bring families closer together around the table, especially post-September 11th. I knew it, too. There was a real hunger for family, more comfort food, and for the spiritual encouragement that comes from a meal that is sacred when we make room for God at our table. So I joked around and said, ‘Okay, and we can call it Grace Before Meals.’

But nothing really happened until about two years later when I was reassigned at my church, and I met a man who produces TV shows and commercials. His name is Tim Watkins. He’s the owner of Renegade Productions. It was just by chance that we met. I simply asked him a generic question about what he did for a living and when I found out, another priest, who was there at the time and was in on the joke, brought up Fr. Leo’s Grace Before Meals – a priest cooking show! And I’m thinking, ‘This is ridiculous. It’s just a joke.’

This producer took it seriously enough to film a pilot. The pilot was put on the Web in 2003. The website received so many requests and hits that we had to keep producing information, which has turned into the weekly email blasts. We get 40,000 hits a day and that’s without really any advertising at all. It was the encouragement of my brother priests not only suggesting the idea, but telling others about it that made Grace Before Meals a reality.”

Grace Before Meals started as a web series, but now it’s become an international movement that aspires to strengthen relationships through the preparing and sharing of meals. What do you hope people will get out of your weekly email blasts, your speaking engagements, your cookbook, web series, etc.?

“Grace Before Meals is not going to turn you into a theological scholar. It’s just not. What it’s supposed to help do is turn you into a better person and to be a better person with grace. You can squeeze out a 15-second prayer and if you do it sincerely for you and your family, I honestly believe God can make a powerful moment for people.”

You’re a big advocate of regular family meals. What are some of the benefits of eating together as a family?

“There’s research out of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University that supports something we believe on the social level but also spiritually: If you want to reduce teenage pregnancy, suicide, drug addiction, plus increase your teenager’s SAT scores, then eat together as a family. The number one factor in successful teenagers is regular family meals. It’s such common sense, but we’ve complicated things. Common sense isn’t so common anymore."

Explain the idea that a shared meal is a conduit to grace for families.

"I’m all about finding Catholic connections. The meal is the most Catholic thing because Jesus became our meal. If you want to have a good healthy, spiritual life, have children who are going to try to become saints, children who are going to stay away from sinfulness, the best thing is a regular Sunday meal with the Lord.”

As parents, how can we better feed our flock?

“Feeding the flock means we have to address the hunger. I think people want company around the table – a communion of persons. Also, allow mealtimes to become an opportunity for instruction. Make sure you are talking about the things that are important to the family. Teach young people how to talk appropriately and speak well – even when they disagree.

Another thing people can do to feed their sheep better is just to simply make better food. Not only healthy food, but fun food, food that’s going to make them say, ‘Wow! That’s awesome.’ Food that’s going to make you think of a memory. I still know Mom’s fried chicken. I still know Mom’s pan fried steaks with caramelized onions served over sticky rice with pickled vinaigrette. Serve delicious, fun food that has a purpose.

My recipes are in no way going to win five-star ratings, but hey, one won a throw down. I use ingredients that you can find in any grocery store and are perhaps already in your pantry. I just want to give people a chance to explore flavors, to play with their food a little bit and have good, delicious food."

Yes, speaking of throw downs, your fusion fajitas beat Bobby Flay’s dish on the Food Network. What was your recipe for success?

"I won because I used the secret ingredient: Holy water. "

Besides learning how to prepare gastronomic delights, what lessons have you learned in the kitchen?

"Patience and humility, organization, an open mind, a desire to listen to people more because the only way I’m going to satisfy anyone’s hunger is if I know what they’re hungry for. This requires me to pay very close attention to the people I’m serving and feeding."

Help Support Grace Before Meals

Like any apostolate, Grace Before Meals depends on your generosity to keep dishing out quality programming. Here are four ways Fr. Leo says you can help support his mission to strengthen families through food:

1. Subscribe to the weekly email blasts on the Grace Before Meals website, what Fr. Leo refers to as the real bread and butter and meat and potatoes of the ministry.

2. Buy Fr. Leo’s cookbook. As an owner of Recipes for Family Life: Grace Before Meals, I can attest that this is so much more than a portfolio of delicious recipes. The book is as good for the soul as it is for the stomach and includes mealtime prayers, spiritual reflections, conversation starters, and ideas for celebrating family milestones and holidays like (ahem) Mother’s Day.

Keep in mind that book sales and Fr. Leo’s speaking engagements are what pays for the website productions. “People are always surprised by just how much it costs. We get a lot of press, but that doesn’t translate into dollars. I try to make sure people are being fed with good food, dynamic food that’s going to be entertaining because we’re competing against a very rich secular world that puts a lot of money into TV with junky messages. If you like quality programs like this, then support good Catholic media,” Fr. Leo says.

3. The website is always looking for sponsors as well. Learn more here.

4. Pray for Fr. Leo and Grace Before Meals. Believe it or not, this is his “side job.” Fr. Leo works full-time as a professor and Director of Pastoral Formation at Mount Saint Mary’s Seminary. After appearing on Show Down with Bobby Flay, Fr. Leo is well on his way to becoming a household name – at least among Christian foodies. The Grace Before Meals site received over one million hits after the show aired. “It’s been crazy with all the increased attention,” Fr. Leo says. “The whole TV thing has put a very simple priest on a different platform that I never expected. So pray for me. I’d really appreciate the prayers.”

Learn more about Fr. Leo and the Grace Before Meals movement here.

Check out more featured Catholic speakers at Fallible Blogma.

Taking the Good with the Bad

Today is St. Francis of Assisi's Feast Day, so it seems fitting that I share some thoughts on this humble servant of the Lord whose likeness adorns many outdoor gardens and natural sanctuaries. St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals and ecology, tops my list of favorite saints. When I was in the eighth grade, I chose Francis as my confirmation name. As a horse-crazy kid, I suspect it was the depictions of him befriending birds and beasts and his appreciation for nature that appealed to me. But as I've grown to know him more through readings about the saint and a pilgrimage to Assisi in my early twenties, I see that he was so much more than an animal lover.

I recently had the opportunity to read a wonderful biography of St. Francis courtesy of The Catholic Company's Reviewer Program. Francis of Assisi by the late Michael de la Bedoyere* brings Francis as well as the world in which he lived to life. Its language is lyrical, its descriptions vivid.

After I read the in-depth biography written by a notable historian and scholar, I realized another reason I've always loved St. Francis is because as the biography's back cover reminds us: He was like so many saints, he was an ordinary, flawed man who, with God's grace, was able to do extraordinary things.

In his youth he was conflicted between a burning desire to serve his God and the intoxicating lure of worldly pursuits and riches. Some of his internal tortures reminded me of the very same struggles someone like me - what with my bizarre sanguine-melancholic blend - is faced with from time to time.

When I read the paragraph below in particular, I thought, "Oh, dear St. Francis, I know what you mean."

"Francis was to become a man who wanted to laugh with joy at his freedom in God's beautiful world and weep with compassion and love at the sufferings of his Lord, and he never seemed to know which to do."

I haven't always been sure how to react to God either. Do I cry? Laugh? Rejoice? Mourn?

God is too big to conjure up just one emotion. There have been times when I've been in awe of Him. Being close to nature or giving birth to a child can do that to me. I feel so small as I experience an indestructible sense of wonder: God created this mountain, this dancing dandelion's white fuzz puffed into air, the depths of this vast ocean, this new life nestled in my arms.

There are other times when I don't want to accept the atrocities of the Passion of Christ. It's too painful.Wasn't there another way? I don't understand. I don't understand. And I'll shudder thinking of Jesus, bloodied and battered, crucified for us all. And I'll cry when I hear about a child who has suffered, hollowed out and starving because there was nothing left to eat. Or I'll weep in confusion when I'm reminded of the woman whose baby was ripped from her arms in tsunami that formed in the same ocean that seemed so beautiful to me once but now seems violent. Again, I'll say: I don't understand.

But I'll take the good with the bad. Just as St. Francis did. He faced his fears, kissed a leper, endured the stigmata, led with joyful simplicity, yearned for more but accepted less when it was God's will, sowed love out of hatred, replaced doubt with faith, discovered joy in sadness, and died with a "song in his heart." He drank up suffering and humility and ended up being described as someone who was "drunk with God's love."

There's so much in life that can fill me up with empty promises of guaranteed happiness - money, acclaim, bylines, thinness, a bigger house, a bigger life. Meanwhile, God is waiting, waiting for me to abandon my heart to Him, divert my passion to following His will, and drink up His goodness.

Lord, make me an instrument of peace. Guide my conflicted heart closer to You and so that like St. Francis of Assisi I may be satisfied and drunk with a complete, lasting love. Amen.

Read the Prayer of St. Francis here.
Send a St. Francis e-greeting.

*I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review.

Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity Book Review

Funny I should attempt to renege an offer to review a book entitled Rest after deciding that I needed, well, more rest. Lucky for me, the book had already been shipped when I asked if I could pass on this review. As soon as I cracked the book open, I realized that God, in his infinite wisdom, knew I needed to read this one.

The full title of Kerri Wyatt Kent’s book is Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity, and it’s not actually about slipping into REM mode. Instead, Kent invites readers to rest in Him as well as to rediscover the ancient practice of Sabbath and to move toward what she calls “Sabbath Simplicity” or a sanely, God-focused life.

Sheesh. Based on the crazy pace of my life lately, I think I need tips on how to be more sane and faith-centric even more than I need more shut-eye.

Based on what Jesus taught about Sabbath and how he practiced it, Kent explores six aspects of Sabbath as Christian spiritual practice: resting, reconnecting, revising, pausing, playing, and praying. Kent makes a strong argument that bringing these practices to life is the antidote to our restlessness, isolation, and our hurried lives, workaholism and self-absorption.

Personally, I've been working really hard at making Sundays a family day of rest and fun, and Kent's book has only made me want to try harder. We go to Mass as a family (or lately I go with my girls and brother because my husband has had to work most weekends), and then we spend time together. I stay away from the computer and even resist the urge to clean or to play catch-up in other areas of my life. This isn't always easy because my husband is so rarely around. Sometimes the temptation is to cram chores into this day when he can help out with the kids. But I'm trying to look at it in a different light. If my husband and the girls' father is around, isn't that a good excuse to not pursue things I can do at other times and to instead focus on family time when we can be all together?

And even when my husband is MIA like he was this past weekend, I've found that I crave and need a day of rest, a day to just play with my girls. So this past Sunday we went to Mass with my brother and then ate lunch together. In the afternoon the girls and I went to story time at an independent bookstore in our downtown square. We thought about venturing outdoors, but the weather was oppressively hot, so we watched a movie together instead. Later we chowed down on pork fajitas for dinner.

When I saw my husband before he had to be back at work (poor guy missed out on our fun because he’s been working 12-hour night shifts for the past week and has to sleep during the day), I told him I can’t believe I ever have time to do anything other than focus on caring for our girls. I didn’t do anything “extra” on Sunday other than be a mother to my children; yet, the day flew by. However, as busy as I seemed schlepping the kids to Mass and to story time, I didn’t feel frazzled. Not one bit. I wasn't rushed and I didn't feel like I was failing a to-do list (or myself) by not being productive. And, in fact, I’d been very productive, although I didn’t have much to show for it. What I produced was fun for the kids and me as well as some fond memories.

Wyatt writes that the Sabbath is s day to “put aside our cares and our work so we can just love God - that’s the heart of resting in God, the key to recovering our lives.”

Recovering our lives. I think she’s really on to something there. That’s why we’re here, right? To live. And what makes our lives more meaningful? Our faith and our family. Oh, sure we pursue other things to give us meaning like material goods or professional accolades. And I’m not suggesting there’s anything wrong with this to a certain point. Nor am I suggesting we stop doing anything productive. My house still has to be cleaned. There are bills to be paid. Yet, it’s so easy for a Type Aer like myself to get so caught up in the doing that I forget that my being as well as the human beings in my life are far more important than what I do.

A good way to persistently remind myself of this (and I, unfortunately, need a lot of reminders) is to listen to God’s command and observe the Sabbath. Wyatt’s easy-to-read book has helped show me how.

Although Wyatt encourages us to embrace Sundays as a day to reconnect with our faith and family and embracing the Sabbath as a day of rest is certainly at the heart of the book, we would all benefit from marbling in the spiritual practices she explores into our everyday life throughout the week. So it’s my goal to take what I learn during this holy day of rest and to apply it to remainder of my week. I won’t be able to bask in my family’s presence or kneel peacefully at Jesus’ feet all weeklong, but with a conscious effort on my part I will be able to live a more God-centered life and to take up a new yoke – one that is easier and lighter and steers me in a less hurried pace, a yoke that is His alone.

Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity is available on Amazon. A group study guide is included at the end of the book, making it an excellent choice for small faith groups.

To read more reviews, visit the Rest Blog Tour Spot.

Granny Bee's Art Angels Review & Giveaway

*Details on the giveaway are at the bottom of this unnecessarily long post (forgive the groggy mom for her rambling, will you?).

"Azure!" my preschooler exclaimed the other day. "Azure means blue in Spanish," she quickly added.

"That's right," I told her.

"Dora taught me that," she pointed out.

My oldest was born with a brilliant mind for argument (she takes after her Daddy) and is always trying to make the case for one more story at bedtime, why I should play with her dollhouse with her (again) and, of course, why TV doesn't cause brain rot.

The poor child, through no fault of her own (it's just the luck of the draw, kiddo), has a TV-hating mother. I've never liked the boob tube. In college, I had to be the only co-ed who had never seen an episode of Friends. Ironic that I ended up as a intern at NBC Entertainment in Burbank, California and was actually partially responsible for promoting shows I cared very little about. It's not that I think all television is bad (my husband and I did become addicted to 24, and I tune into Fox News and the Food Network every now and then). It's just that there are a lot of things I'd rather be doing than watching television. Like reading, sleeping, running, walking, baking, journaling, blogging, and even cleaning. I'm an odd bird.

I just can't figure out why my 4-year-old doesn't feel the same way. Oh, she loves to play. She loves looking at books and stretching her legs in the sun, but the girl also can't get enough television. It's her drug of choice and she gets all antsy when she hasn't had a fix for awhile.

It's not all that surprising that some of my fellow moms gently suggested that maybe, just maybe if I wasn't so militant about her not watching TV, she'd lose interest in vegging out in front of the screen.

Everything in moderation, right?

So I started allowing a little bit of screen time (educational programs only) every day and even designated Saturday morning as family movie time, and I admit that since our third baby was born I've relied on television in the afternoons when I've desperately needed just a moment to zone out. But I still don't like it. I don't like watching my kids watching furry monsters sing or count. And I really can't stand Dora. I just don't like her. I hate it when she tries to engage my children by saying, "Louder," so that they're screaming, "Backpack!" I know, I know. It's interactive television. This is good for their burgeoning minds, the marketers claim. I'm not buying it. Listening to Bach might stimulate a few brain cells, but that obnoxious "Da-Da-Da Dora" theme song can only lead to cerebral atrophy (or a mother's insanity).

Ah, but enough negativity for one post. On a positive note, I'll tell you what kind of programming I would like: A show that really does engage my children beyond shrieking Spanish vocabulary. Luckily for my TV addict, that's exactly what I discovered in the Granny Bee's Art Angel DVD, which I recently had the opportunity review.

Dawn Harris, a former homeschooling mom and artist, created the DVD in an effort to provide Catholic families with quality, wholesome programming that not only teaches children basic art techniques such as shading effects but also enriches their faith lives.

Granny Bee, a puppet voiced by Dawn herself, leads children in prayer, story time, and art activities. Other characters like Coach Charlie get your kids up and moving (no couch potatoes allowed!).

The DVD sounded good, but would it appeal to my preschooler as well?

The short answer: Yup. Just call it Kid Tested and Mother Approved.

Not only was Madeline immediately transfixed, but she also jumped up and exercised with Coach Charlie, said the prayers she already knew along with the DVD, and being our resident artist, she was thrilled to draw with Granny Bee. We did have to pause the DVD several times during the art portion of the program because Granny Bee went a little quickly for my wee one's hands, but she was so proud of the finished product (the owl pictured above is still proudly displayed on our refrigerator).

Granny Bee was a welcome change to our typical programming (I'm not a complete TV fascist. I like curious monkeys and big, red dogs and all, but it was nice to see something a little different). Granny Bee's Art Angels isn't your run-of-the-mill educational DVD where the child sits passively and "learns" her letters or numbers. My preschooler seemed really happy with it. "This is so cool," she remarked at one point.

Plus, I always like to support "momtrepreneurs" like Dawn.

Although the DVD isn't for every child (I'd say it's geared more toward older children than toddlers; my 2-year-old doesn't have the dexterity yet to complete the art portion of the program, but she did giggle when the puppies who answer to Sissi and Gazoo came onto the screen), it would make a wonderful addition to any pint-sized Picasso's DVD library.

You can purchase the DVDs here for $15.99. (We reviewed the owl DVD, but there's one that features a bee as well.)

Dawn also generously donated a copy of the owl DVD to my blog readers. To be entered in the giveaway, please just leave a comment below. The giveaway drawing ends this Friday at 8 p.m. Eastern time (a winner will be announced on Monday, June 22nd).

Small Successes 9

1.The baby is still staying put even after experiencing some more intense contractions last night.

2. While I was floating on my side in a warm bath per my midwife's recommendation last evening, I felt tears prickling behind my eyes. At first I tried to hold them back. Then I started praying to the Queen of Mothers who knew what it was like to be afraid but still chose to trust. I let the tears fall. I released them again this morning. I realized I was trying to hold many of my emotions in and act as if I was superhuman, that nothing would get me down. But in my tears, I left my hero cape behind, admitted I was afraid, and asked Mary to be a mother to me right now.

3. I'm using bed rest to catch up on some spiritual reading. I just started Grace Cafe: Serving Up Recipes for Faithful Mothering by Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle, and it's been just what I need as I find myself once again abiding in the eve of new motherhood.

Here's an excerpt from the book that applies to the small and big successes as well as the sufferings moms face throughout their mothering lives:

"The passing of time reminds us to be patient with our 'little' duties and our difficult ones, aware that 'this too shall pass' when we face the everyday challenges that beset us. We can be confident knowing that after we have fulfilled this piece of our mothering, we will soon be on to another phase--another season. Each moment is important. For our children's sake, let's try not to wish them away."

I'm so looking forward to the newborn season - when pregnancy is behind me, this precarious waiting is over ("This too shall pass!"), and my baby is in my arms. Yet, for the sake of my growing little one, I do not want to rush this necessary layover but to embrace it as another part of my mothering journey.

Share (and celebrate) your own and other moms' small successes at Faith & Family Live!

Book Review: The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse

I recently read The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse by Art and Laraine Bennett as part of The Catholic Company’s Reviewer Program. The book was right up my overanalyzing alley, especially since I have a thing for personality quizzes (that’s according to my ever-obliging-husband who is always a good sport about taking the tests along with me).

Now I did have to do some background research before I could fully appreciate the book. Unlike their first book called The Temperament God Gave You (which I haven't personally read but have heard a great deal about), this one doesn’t give as much background info on the different temperament profiles or how to tell what one you or your spouse has.

Although many of my friends swear by the four temperaments and know theirs in and out, I hadn’t personally taken this particular personality test. So I actually ordered Personality Plus upon the recommendation of my choleric-melancholic friend. She also said The Temperament God Gave You is a good read, but she felt that Personality Plus goes into greater detail about the temperaments. The book also includes a detailed personality profile test that requires you to look at 40 groups of words and to choose one word out of four that applies most often to you.

You can actually take the Personality Plus temperament test online here, but the Internet version doesn’t include the definitions of the words, which I found to be very helpful especially with some of the tougher word groups where I didn’t immediately recognize the word that most often describes me. For instance, the word “positive” when applied to your temperament means “knows it will turn out right if he’s in charge.”

There’s a more anecdotal temperament test available on 4Marks (a Catholic social networking site), but I found this one to be less accurate (and so did my husband when I showed him my results). Likewise, you can take the test that goes with The Temperament God Gave You can be found here. Although it yielded the same results as the Personality Plus test for me, this test version doesn’t breakdown your strengths and weaknesses in each area.

Once you know you and your spouse’s temperaments, The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse offers practical insight on how to better connect with your partner. The book includes communication “cheat sheets,” other tips for dealing with temperaments different than your own, and offers anecdotal examples of how and why couples who mix together dissimilar temperaments might clash - not intentionally but simply because they see the world differently – as well as ways to overcome some of the unique challenges you and your spouse temperament combo might create.

I gleaned a few helpful pointers from the book but in all honesty my husband Dave and I don’t fight much, but I can’t take credit for that. He’s the stable one with the patience of Job, after all.

Want to know what kind of temperament God gave Dave? He’s the peaceful phlegmatic. Sounds gross like he regularly dispels out phlegm. Not so at all. The only thing he regularly doles out is friendliness and kindness. Yes, I'm married to the all-purpose person. The great parent. The low-key, likable guy. The one who avoids conflict and rarely sweats the small stuff. Dave’s phlegmatic leanings were dominant, but he did have a few choleric and melancholic traits as well.

As for me? Brace yourself. I am a freak of nature, a marriage of extremes. A bizzaro sanguine-melancholic blend (I scored virtually the same points in each of those temperament) with a touch of choleric tendencies (AKA type A control freak leanings) with only a whopping two points falling in the peaceful phlegmatic category. I’m the personality combo that can lead to emotional problems, according to Personality Plus. I’m the one the Bennetts write about in their “opposites attract” section; yet, the opposites exist within me, not in my marriage.

Great.

The only solace I have is that my parents both took the test, and my dad and I scored strikingly similar – our points were distributed almost exactly among the different temperament types and he, too, is a peculiar merger of the sanguine (the optimistic extrovert) and the melancholic (the pensive perfectionist pessimist).

The crazy thing, as I previously mentioned, is the test was really accurate once I started reading the strengths and weaknesses of both types. I read these aloud to my husband, and he, the peaceful phlegmatic, just chuckled.

In fact, some of the anecdotes Personality Plus shared of other weirdo hybrids like myself were things I’ve actually done. Kind of scary when you read about a perfectionist’s filing system and recognize it as your own.

Ah, but as the Bennetts remind us in their marriage book opposites do attract (apparently sometimes inside of the same person as in my case). Maybe that’s why I’ve always felt that Dave was the yang to my yin and that we complement one another so well.

Actually, the same friend who recommended Personality Plus looked at our scores and said that Christ is a perfect blend of all four temperaments and that Dave and I together look a lot like Christ. Yippee! So what if Dave’s got all the strengths and I’m a heap of weaknesses – the reluctant optimist, the person who likes people but also needs alone time like she needs air, the woman who wants to lower her standards but feels like a failure when she does? Together we rock! There’s a reason God didn’t want man – especially the split personality kind of person like me – to be alone. I need someone to center me.

Clearly, this entire post is evidence of my temperament. I can’t stop yaking or overanalyzing my results. (This isn’t something new as this old post from last year about my Meyers-Briggs results reveals. Read it if you want to feel better about yourself seeing how messed up I am.)

In all seriousness, I found that knowing Dave and my temperament and subsequently reading The Temperament God Gave Your Spouse can only help your marriage. As the Bennetts point out, people typically marry someone with the same big-picture values but with different temperaments. Knowing your own and your spouse’s temperament isn’t meant to box you or your marriage in; it’s meant to give you a better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and how they function in the context of marriage.

I’ve joked about my unique temperament blend, but in all honesty it helped me to understand why I feel and do certain things such as why I sometimes set too high of standards for myself, my husband, and my children (it’s that melancholic girl in me).

Finally, as someone who is in a mixed marriage, I’ve often wondered why Dave can be so peaceful and at ease with life and not appear to need (at this time anyway) the Sacraments like I do. Knowing that a large part of his inner peace is innate and God-given has helped me to realize that how we react to life is not always a clear indication of the depths of our faith. God gives us different temperaments, and he doesn’t ever ask us to reinvent ourselves. He only desires that we work on being the best version of ourselves and love others who may approach life differently than us.

I hope to read The Temperament God Gave You in the near future and recommend their most recent book. You can purchase both books at The Catholic Company.