Back on my Soapbox Again

If you're one of my regular readers, then you probably already know how I feel about children - even the smallest ones - being included in worship. Well, I just won't keep quiet about it. I was recently interviewed for Wall Street Journal article on the topic. You can read "Seen and Not Heard" here.

The Cheese Stands Alone

There's a great discussion going on over at Faith & Family LIVE! after Arwen Mosher's excellent post where she asks an important question: How should we strike the balance between encouragement and realism with our kids?

She writes,

"I think it’s great to tell kids that most things are within their reach if they work hard enough. But my perception is that the 'if you work hard enough' part of that proposition has mostly been dropped in popular society.

It leads to situations like the case of a teenaged boy I knew a few years ago. He planned to be an engineer. He was also failing half his classes because he couldn’t be bothered to turn in his schoolwork. He saw no disconnect between his goals and his behavior.

Encouragement is a wonderful thing. But I think that the encouragement that we give kids these days could benefit from a healthy dose of realism."

I couldn't agree more.

Her post actually reminded me of a news story I heard about a local preschool that removed the line, "The cheese stands alone" from "The Farmer in the Dell." Their reasoning? No cheese (or child) should have to stand alone.

I kid you not.

Most parents and educational institutions won't go this far (I hope) in artificially padding children's self-esteems. But the way I see it, even if we're guilty of taking less ridiculous steps to shield our children from the struggles they're sure to face, we're still only sharpening their disappointment in the end.

Life isn't fair. And sometimes it's hard. Really, really hard. But life's not all doom and gloom. It's through their very struggles, hard work, and their overcoming of obstacles (including loneliness) that children find their way and gain a real sense of self-worth as well as an awareness that nothing in life is free with the exception of God's love. It is often when we are stripped of nearly everything that we are most aware that God is all we ever needed.

As much as I want my "babies" to be happy and to dream big, I know that struggle is a good thing. We are entitled to nothing. I have to encourage them to sometimes stand alone on their own two feet because I won't always be there to catch their fall. And when they do find themselves face to face with adversity, I pray that I will have served them well and that they will be primed not only to persevere but to also accept their limitations, to let God in, and to live "Thy will be done" instead of "My will be done."

The cheese may stand alone, but my children never will.*

*I edited my conclusion a bit, thanks to Karen.

Small Successes 11

1. Thanks to a former homeschooling aunt and her encouragement to start praying the Stations of the Cross at home with my young children, I've found a meaningful way to help my preschooler journey with Jesus to the cross this Lent.

Here's what we're doing to bring the stations into our home: I light a candle and then I read a brief description of each station, say a prayer, and finally ask my daughter to find an object from a small box. The small objects symbolize each station and provide something visual and tangible for her to hold in her hands. We reviewed the stations for the first time using this method last week, and out of the blue yesterday she actually asked to "do those stations" again.

I'm using the following objects to represent each station:

Station 1
Pilate condemns Jesus: A red string (because Jesus' hands were bound)

Station 2
Jesus carries his cross: A cross made from two Popsicle sticks

Station 3
Jesus falls for the first time: A Band-Aid (to remind us of how much Jesus was hurting when he fell)

Station 4
Jesus meets his Mother: A rosary (to remind us of Our Blessed Mother, the pain she endured watching her son suffer, and that she remains close to Jesus even now and can bring our prayers, joys, and sorrows to him)

Station 5
Simon helps Jesus carry the cross: A small piece of white felt with the letter "H" drawn on it ("H" stands for "help" and is a reminder that we should always seek to help others)

Station 6
Veronica wipes Jesus' face: A cloth with a drawing of Jesus' face on it (Here we discuss how we must reach out to others and see Jesus in all things)

Station 7
Jesus falls for the second time: Another Band-Aid

Station 8
Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem: A tissue (to remind us that Jesus is always here to comfort us and to wipe our tears away)

Station 9
Jesus falls for the third time: a cutout of my daughter's hand made of cardstock (serves as a reminder for us to lend a helping hand to those who fall since we could not be there to lift Jesus up when he stumbled)

Station 10
Jesus is stripped: A piece of purple felt (the piece of cloth represent Jesus' garments. I chose purple since this is the liturgical color for repentance and preparation. We talk about how Lent is a time to prepare for the joy of the resurrection.)

Station 11
Jesus is nailed to the cross: A nail

Station 12
Jesus dies: A small crucifix

Station 13
Jesus is taken down from the cross: A postcard of Michelangelo's Pieta (We talk about the sorrow Mary must have felt holding her dead son in her arms and yet, she remained faithful, believing in God's eternal promise.)

Station 14
Jesus is buried: A stone (to remind us of the sealed tomb that enclosed Jesus' body)

Station 15
Christ rises from the dead: A picture of our Risen Lord resplendent in his victory over death!

2. What I've come to refer to as the "interminable incubating" continues as does what the medical community defines as "early labor." It's been almost one month and counting now since I was told the baby's birth was imminent. I'm walking around with a fully engaged baby, a cervix that's almost halfway to the point of complete dilation, and fully effaced.

There's some success in the fact that I haven't given birth yet since the baby has had more time to grow healthy and strong (I just hit the 38-week mark and my second child was already in my arms for over a week at this point after premature dilation), but the real success lies in the fact that my tendency to be completely anal is waning (somewhat), and I haven't gone absolutely insane wondering when baby will fall out (though I have taken to gnawing on my nails). Yes, gravity has turned from foe to friend. Nothing like the unpredictability of babies to help a control freak like me relent and turn things over to God. It's fitting that this is all happening during Lent.

3. We've narrowed down our list of names for our newest addition after my oldest child suggested that perhaps the baby was waiting until we at least had something to call her other than "baby."

Share (and celebrate) your own and other moms' small successes at Faith & Family Live!

Deep Thoughts, Big Words

Madeline, out of the blue: Mommy, what's the Eucharist?

Oh, boy and I thought explaining what jails were recently and what an emergency was the other day was tough.

Me: Okay, let me think how to explain. It's about giving thanks to Jesus. You know when I go up for Communion and you get blessed?

Madeline: Yes.

Me: Well, I'm receiving the Bread of Life, Jesus, nourishment. Kind of like how the food you eat helps your body and helps you feel strong. The Eucharist helps my soul. It gives me strength. It helps me live my life better, with more love. Wait, let me go get a book I have.

(I race to a nearby bookshelf and pull off Catechism for Kindergartners. HELP! I peruse the section on the Eucharist. Hmmmm...it has a lot of big words for a 3-year-old.)

Me: Okay, Madeline. Let me read this to you, but it has some pretty big words that you may not understand. But, you know, there are a lot of things about our faith that I don't even understand. Sometimes you just have to believe with your heart.

Madeline: Don't worry. I'll understand. I can say big words like "John Jacob Jingleheimer Smit."

Oh, then you'll have no problem understanding things like the Most Blessed Sacrament and transubstantiation.